A Saint's Sililoquy
by Berubi
Summary: "Didn't think I had the balls?" These people have no idea what's coming.I cocked the GDHC; this was going to be a long night.  OCxGat implied. Not really written for perfection but enjoy anyway. M for language and themes.
1. Bus Ride

I knew they had been staring at me the entire time this pathetic excuse of public transportation had been wheeling itself around Brighton. That obese Asian cow and her anorexic conversant...ugh. In fact, I could see them in the reflection of the bus' tinted window, covering their mouths as if not to infect the my ears with their poisonous rumors. Fuckin' Cowards.

Whatever. I kept my mouth shut cuz I was in no mood to fight with Civies. Yell maybe, but more or less at Pierce, 'cuz if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have to be on this shitty wreck with these snobby rats trying to get to the hospital.

_"Seriously Pierce? Are you watching what I think you're watching?"_

_"Sorry Boss, you know Ah'm down whenever, whatever...but uhh..." Pierce dropped the phone and lowered the volume of his TV. "Dis time, Ah can't. I-ASK SHAUNDI." _

_"Sure Pierce...No problem...Cuz, you know, BOBBY AND AMBER is more important than executing ORDERS FROM YOUR LEADER!"_

Still, it got harder for me to ignore their hushed spew.

"If her father knew what she was doing, she'd be disowned..." whispered the Oriental heffer.

"I know, and her sense of style has gone down the drain...look a that! A baby pink sweater and light gray yoga pants? How Gaudy...?"

"She used to be an influential figure, a raising star in Stilwater..."

_Used to? Bitch, I still am. _I only griped the steel pole I held onto tighter. It was uptight people like that that lead me to my secret life.

"Ugh...she's just like that singer...what's her name?"

"Aisha?"

"Yeah!" The Blonde perked up. "Oh, one minute she's all glamorous and the next she's scandalous. Seriously, look who she was dating?"

"That Johnny Gat..."

I think I scared them to a momentary pause when my ring scratched the back of the pole. But I guess that wasn't enough.

"Did you hear though?" the toothpick chirped.

"What?"

"She's dead and he's in the hospital."

I winced. _Here we go._

"Wait! I thought she was already dead?"

"Oh no! That was just a marketing ploy. This time it's legit!"

The tub of lard jiggled slightly with excitement. "What? Not that I liked her, but how did she-?"

"Well, I heard from my friend who knows a friend screwing Shogo Akuji that one of his right hand men snuck into the house and tied her up just to get to Gat. And just as he and..." I saw the two pairs eyes wind slowly up my reflection as the lowered their voices. "got to...the house...she called out to warn Johnny and her assailant slashed her throat! Nearly severed the head completely!"

"How awful! Still, though, as horrible as you think this may sound, don't you think you know who may be happy she's gone?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, Now that Aisha is out of the way, do you think she's gonna get with Johnny Gat?"

_Alright. I'm through here. _I couldn't stand another fuckin' word of their chatter. I smashed my fist into the pole and left it bent at forty-five degrees. The bus screeched to a halt and all the passengers cowered. I turned around to those inconsiderate housewives, my face as red as Maero's. It was a shade of bitter rage and oddly hinted with a blissful fluster.

"Do you ever shut the FUCK up? You're lucky I don't put a hole in either of you for disrespectin' Aisha! Or Gat for that matter! FUCKIN' IGNORANT TRAMPS!" At that, I opened the bus door and walked onto the sidewalk. The driver, still startled, only stared at me with a face as white as my gladiator sandals.

"So...is that a yes?" I head the skinny one try to hush her friend.

I pulled out my GDHC and shot into the air. "DRIVE!" I practically roared at the driver.

Hmph. Didn't need to tell him twice.

* * *

><p>x-x-xNOTE-x-x-x<p>

R&R if you like. I had this thought as I was playing last night (5/19/11). I was on my way to play the mission where you take Gat from the Hospital and some husky woman and her friend walked past saying, ""Now that Aisha is out of the way, are you gonna get with Johnny?" You only hear this if you're character is a female ofcourse...above other perverse things from the male civilians. Lol. Bobby and Amber on the other hand is some TV show my girl said she was watching in one mission...the one where you kidnap Jessica.


	2. Pride

**Pride**

I didn't need for that casket to be open. I knew what lay undisturbed on that frosted, crepe lining: the embodiment of pain, the incarnation of peace.

Some part of me, which I kept losing with the others in the ever churning tide of my stomach, wanted to apologize. Truly apologize. Because he didn't deserve it. Because he was nineteen. Because he was a baby.

He didn't know shit like this could really happen. That these things do not only occur in the realms of cinema and video games. Or rather, he didn't fully realize and comprehend that they could happen to him. Ahh...how youth can make you think you're fuckin' invincible?

His family stared me down coldly. And every step I took betrayed the cover of my shame.

But of course they would. Out of fear, of hate, and of pure disgust. And I can't blame them. For here I show up: decked in a Julie Buiton dress and six inch Vlanics, coming to pay my respects for one of their lost bloodlines. Fuck me, really; could I seem any more shallow? I may as well have sewn together a dress of his ground up flesh as their eyes could plainly see his blood crying out from my sorry hide. Screaming to them me, his merciful executioner.

—And Maero! God, Maero; that bastard can strike you good! But then again, I am in no position to judge. I'm capable of just as bad and a fuckload worse of course and in all aspects, I'm just as responsible for this kid's death as he is. Because on some other plain, I can defend that skinhead prick. I should have let this piece of me, Reasoning, drown in irrationality. But I couldn't.

Maero, like any good leader was defending his gang, his keep, and more importantly his pride. For a man without pride is a dog without its nose. It's only natural to retaliate like that. For is pride not the never-failing vice of fools?

There was no need to stay, I've paid my meager respects. Still, as I walked out of the cemetary I couldn't help but listen to the droning hiss of the annoying voice in my mind that felt the need to remind me he paid with his life. I knew that well. The only other voice that could silence it was the one that chided "Maero's next."

Just before I stepped into the Zenith, a man, nearly a splitting image of Carlos haulted me mid gesture.

"Do you remember me now?" He said. His voice as callous as it was distant if not slurred by liquor first.

"Efrain. I-"

"Don't explain yourself. You were his EVURTHINGK! I made him prac-tically w-warship you! And you? Dis is what you do to h-him_. Let happen to him_!"

He nearly punch the tears off of his face. "I could say a million things to you! Curse you! DAMN YOUR SOUL! FUCK! EVEN WISH YOU WOULD P-PUT A HOLE IN MY BRAIN TO FIX THIS! But you know what, it doesn't matter, you're a heartless, bitter whore who don't care shit for de little bangers beneath you. I hope you live a long life, Kazmina...one full of sleepless nights and restless days..."

I peeled off. Funny, I wonder if he knows I'm the number one consumer of sleeping meds?


	3. Boy Talk

**Boy Talk**

"Well fuck you too then!"

That suddenly caught my interest. Not that Shaundi never cursed before, but for some reason, it was always weird o hear her say Fuck. I turned my head to see her at the top of the stairs, her face tinged pink and oddly satisfied with the phone conversation. As she descended the stairs, the twenty-two year old chucked the phone at a mound of pillows and crossed her arms. "What an ass..."

"Boy troubles?" I looked over my magazine.

"You don't wanna know." she chortled.

"Little do you know. What's up?"

"So my boyfriend found out I was back on the dust and he threatened to break up with me. Again."

"Okay, one, you've been doing it how long and he knew about it?"

"Didn't know." she corrected me.

"And two, he's pissed and you don't seem phased why?"

Shaundi looked over at me with possibly the most serious face I ever caught her with. "Why are you surprised?"

"No offense, Shaundi, but don't you usually date guys of less standard? You know, ones who don't care and hit shit with you?"

"I used to. But after that shit with Veteran child, I met this guy David on campus. And David is good people, you know? Hot Bod, hot car, real smart, lots of money...your average rich white guy."

"Oh...I know. I've had my share. But why is he so attached?"

Shaundi only shrugged. "I took his V-card."

"Oh..." We both laughed, like two overly-cynical feminists.

Shaundi shook her head. "And ever since he's been up my ass, like all the time, and breathing down my neck."

"Sounds like sex to me..."

The dread-headed girl ignored me. "I don't wanna hurt him, but I gotta look out for me and make me happy so...I guess a break is due huh?"

"Shaun, you sound like me now."

"Well we are together like all the time so it's bound to happen..." Shaundi's face then dramatically changed. "Wait a minute! You've never told me anything about your "share"."

"You never asked."

"I didn't think I should. I mean..."

"It's cool, don't fret. Let's see..."

"So how many guys have you been with?" the brunette piped.

"Seriously or on the fly?" I turned to the next page. Huh, an article on what your Best-friend won't tell you...ironic.

"I don't know, both?"

"Three seriously. Two on other occasions. And what about you? I'm actually curious how many guys you've screwed?"

Shaundi seated herself atop the white leather coach and pursed her lips in thought. "Umm...about twelve honestly."

I nearly dropped my magazine. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Twelve." she repeated.

"So then why does it seem like you did a fuckload of guys?"

"I just did the right ones, that's all." she giggled.

I shook my head. Touche. "Okay. Next question?"

Shaundi flipped herself backward to lay on the couch, knocking up some of the pillows."Don't mind me pryin', but who were you're two serious ones?"

"Dion Broderick was the first and-"

"The actor?"

" Yep."

"How did you meet him?"

"Stillwater U. . . he was the runner for the Skeeters." I stated nonchalantly.

"Was he good?"

"Could've been better."

"Cool. Alright, and number two?"

"Much to my disdain and remission, Dane Vogel."

"WHAT!" Shaundi's head popped up from behind the couch, her hands gripping the leather for dear life. "THE ASSHOLE TRYIN' TO RUN US DOWN?"

"Mmhmm." I didn't have to look up to know her mouth had become a giant fly trap.

"B-but..."

"For a while he was working as my father's assistant. And consequently had to do whatever I asked for as well. Shit, I ain't gunna lie, he's as attractive as a duck's foot, but there's something about having a whipped manservant around that made the insurgent bitch in me really hot everytime he was around" Man, the seriously femenists undertones of this conversation. "So it was only natuaral we dated or- rather I let him wine and dine me while I figured ways to lay him."

Shaundi burst out into laughter. "You're so funny! So how'd you guys end?"

"My father fired him for being too much of a yes-man. And he sucked in bed. Shit, I fucked him so hard he screamed out MY name in bed."

Shaundi rolled around in laughter before she took a handle on life again. "So why don't we use that as a way to get at him, boss?"

I flipped the page to the next article and smiled as I tossed the open mag her way. I could see her gleaming eyes beam with excitement as she read over the title. "A Fallen's Star's Legacy: Kazmina Montorri."

"Way ahead of you, kid."


End file.
